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Common Tread

RevZilla launches new line of Common Tread brand motorcycle care products

Apr 01, 2020

RevZilla is proud to announce a new line of Common Tread™ brand motorcycle care and maintenance products designed to keep you riding smooth and looking sharp.

We know you take pride in your ride, so we've tapped RevZilla's global range of suppliers for the raw materials we needed to develop some new products to help you polish your bike to perfection.

Spurg Sponge
Like its inventor, the Spurg Sponge has a soft and gentle side and an aggressive, take-no-prisoners side. Photo by Chase Kubasiak.

Why use an old rag to wash your motorcycle? Get it squeaky clean with the Spurg Sponge™. No ordinary sponge, the two-sided Spurg Sponge™ combines advanced science with natural ingredients. Natural sponge embryos from the South Pacific were individually selected by Common Tread's Spurgeon Dunbar himself (he used a microscope — he may have superhuman powers but he can't see sponge embryos with his bare eyes) and then grown in hyperbaric chambers to produce the raw materials for a super-strain of sponges with greater strength, superior absorbency and unparalleled motorcycle-grime-busting ability that no synthetic sponge could match. For the final step, one side of the sponge is exposed to a precise burst of gamma rays and ultraviolet radiation to stiffen the cellular structure for stronger scrubbing power.

When it comes to those really stubborn grimy areas, bring in the big guns. Hit that grungy spot with a shot of AN-Degreaser™ and the gunk will flee in terror.

An-Degreaser spray
Andy personally endorses AN-Degreaser and he knows grease, too, because he drags home a lot of grungy old junk motorcycles. You might say grease is his middle name. Almost. Photo illustration by Johnny Greaser and Carmella Martonick.

Ordinary cleaners dissolve grease and grime, but AN-Degreaser™ is a far more powerful concoction. Based on concepts discovered by accident during experiments by Cold War-era U.S. scientists working in a secret underground research facility who were attempting to produce an antigravity field, the key compound in AN-Degreaser™ repels greasy dirt at the molecular level. Spray it on and watch the dirt run from your motorcycle. You won't have to lift a finger!

Now that you've cleaned your motorcycle, you'll want to apply the perfect final shine and for that you need a package of Common Tread Brandon Wipes™.

Brandon Wipes
Smooth, baby. Pamper your ride with some Brandon Wipes. Photo by Brandon Wise.

Brandon Wipes™ lay down a protective coating on your motorcycle that's smoother than the late-night DJ voice of your favorite RevZilla video host. Brandon Wipes™ are infused with a proprietary protective compound based on extracts from the sebaceous glands of adolescent female alpacas for the smoothest, softest, most alluring shine your ride has ever known.

While keeping your motorcycle looking nice is critically important, we know you also want top performance and long life from your ride. One often-neglected component is the final drive chain. Put those inconvenient and messy chores of lubricating your chain firmly in the dustbin of history forever with the new Lance Oiler™.

Lance Oiler
Elegant in its simplicity, the Lance Oiler will keep your chain well lubricated. Photo by Lance Oliver.

The brilliance of the Lance Oiler™ is the way it combines elegant simplicity and low cost with the task of keeping your chain oiled down. Each Lance Oiler is shipped in a cardboard box (no extra charge!) that is easily flattened and placed on the floor of your garage under your bike's rear sprocket to absorb any overly enthusiastic drippage and avoid unsightly stains.

Even bigger coming attractions!

Despite the life-changing nature of these new products, they're nothing compared to what the new Common Tread West Coast Skunk Works (WCSW) has on the drawing board. We are excited to announce that work has begun on RevZilla's first-ever original motorcycle!

The WCSW team is at work building the first prototype of a new sport-touring motorcycle that will revolutionize the market. Called Z-Ultimate, the new bike will be powered by a unique Z-Triple™ engine designed by renowned builder and eccentric mechanical genius Joe Zito. It will take advantage of various innovations to achieve performance goals of 200 horsepower and 80 miles per gallon, all in a sophisticated package that provides comfortable — nay, luxurious — accommodations for two and weighs 400 pounds fully fueled and ready to ride. Among the innovations that will enable this incredible level of performance are Ari-Able Valve Timing™ powered by the ZackQuartz™ highly precise electronic valve timing system. A flawless ride is ensured by the Spenserspension™ electronic fork and rear shock that come with a proprietary app that not only lets you adjust suspension settings via Bluetooth with your phone, like lesser models, but also allows you to make adjustments via brain waves through your phone interface.

Z-Ultimate is expected to be available on April 1, 2021.