Common Tread

Video: Motorcyclist dressed as Santa catches hit-and-run driver

Dec 18, 2017

In the style of Clement Clarke Moore's 1823 classic, witness a motorcyclist dressed as Santa collect compelling evidence for the naughty list.

‘Twas the week before Christmas, and all across France
The Yuletide’d arrived, with song and with dance;  
The shoppers were out, choosing gifts with great care,  
The happiest of holidays soon would be there. 

One motorcyclist had an idea in his head,
I’ll go out and ride, oui, decked out in red;  
St. Nick’s boots, and his suit, and gloves to stay warm,  
I’ll go out and spread cheer like snow from a storm, 
When out on the Rue there arose such a clatter,  
He swung his GoPro to see what was the matter.

The shout from the crowd at the new-fallen lady  
Gave reason to believe a driver’d gone crazy,  
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a berserker Renault, getting soon into gear,  
With a heartless cruel driver, so rage-filled and quick,  
No one could corner the cowardly prick.   

You messed with the wrong Santa. Screenshot of CHRIS-RS video.
You messed with the wrong Santa, pal. Screenshot from CHRIS-RS video.

More rapid than Márquez, Claus clicked into first,  
And his Z800 sprung forth with a burst;
“Now, second! now, third! now, fourth and fifth!  
Let’s find some police to go chase that car with!
“We must catch that Clio! See mademoiselle's fall?  
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”  
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;  
So up to the Renault, the pursuers they flew,  
With the authority of the law, and St. Nicholas too. 

When Santa asks for help, you help. Screenshot of CHRIS-RS video.
When Santa asks for help, you help. Screenshot from CHRIS-RS video.

The cop wasted no time, but went straight to his work,  
And pulled out his handcuffs; then cuffed the sly jerk,
And Santa, successful, watched shackles cinch,  
And “Au revoir,” he waved, to the sullen French Grinch.
He sprang to his Kawi, to his grip gave a twist,  
And knew he’d done good by his heart and his wrist,  
But it’s said he exclaimed, ere he rode out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and don't mess with bikes!”